180107

My one new year's resolution:

to stop neglecting this website. I spend way too much to keep it running to not update it at least once a month with art and blog posts and the like.

Pray for me.

 

161231

I can't believe I will be witness to this year's death.....it's been a long time coming, 2016. Prepare to meet your maker.

The past 12 months are filled with so much depressing shit. I'm not going to sugar coat it for you. In short, I've written five or six different suicide notes, but overcame the urge to kick the bucket and tried to live one more day. And I made it. I fucking made it, bitches. 

In spirit of all those horrible, bottom-of-the-pit moments that seemed to drown out any happy thought I ever had in my life, I'm going to focus on all the great things that happened this year.

January- My friend Brittney flew out to SoCal to visit me, and together we went to the Infinite Effect World Tour concert in Los Angeles. Our very first kpop concert! INFINITE! We also met Zi, who has impeccable fashion sense and has become one of my closest friends. She has video footage of her and Hoya during the Infinite concert and I hate her for it.

Sadly, I got fired for the first time at the end of the month. In retrospect it was for the best. I was not happy at that place and my old director knew it.

I went to Hollywood with my friend and language exchange partner Hyoin! I got to see Orlando Bloom's star on the Walk of Fame.....omg I died.

Hyoin and I met on a website that helps pair people up who want to learn a new language. I am studying Korean and Hyoin is improving her English. That way, we can help each other!

February- Still job searching at this point, I spend a little too much money on a ticket to see EXO in Los Angeles. I met Jessica for the first time after being twitter/Instagram pals for over a year, and wow she makes me want to be a better person. Accompanied by her friend Pollina, we got to see EXO and it was the best birthday/Valentine's Day I've had. 

Also started following Krystal on snapchat. She'll come into focus later.

Hyoin helped me step out of my comfort zone and we bar hopped with a bunch of strangers, one of which turned out to be one of the most influential people I've ever had the privilege of calling friend. Here's to you, Richie!

March- I got hired at Old Navy. And apparently I scared some people because I didn't really talk to anyone for my first three months hahaha!

Oh, and I saw Z.TAO at LAX again! That precious lil beeb, he loves that we come out to support him.

April- My parents and little sister flew out to California to visit the family (which included me, my brother and his wife, and their daughter/my niece Chloe, whom I LOVE). We went to Disneyland, the most miserable place on earth. And dad took me to Inglewood where he used to live. I saw the house he used to live in, where he went to school, and to Randy's Donuts where he and his brothers would frequent. 

Richie and I went on an adventure of our own as we scoped out cool restaurants and buildings in Los Angeles. I honestly wish I could have spent more time with him. He is a patient and wise friend and I miss him a hell of a lot.

May- Jessica and I went to the Korea Times Music Festival at the Hollywood Bowl where we got to see SHINee and Red Velvet perform! God, I love kpop.

June- I can't think of anything that happened here, I'm drawing a blank....THIS must have been a bad month for me. Yikes.

July- Krystal and I met for the first time. Met her on Facebook when a bunch of people going to the EXO concert started posting their snapchat handles. We went on a sushi date and blasted kpop and damn it was a good night. 11/10 would do again.

I also picked Jessica up and took her to Koreatown for her birthday. We went to a 노래방 (karaoke joint) and had a lot of fun! Though, I think I enjoyed it more than she did! (Sorry babe, I owe you a night out next year!)

August- what even happened this month? All I can remember is Jessica taking me to The Boiling Crab (is that what it's called? I don't remember...but it was delicious as hell) and to a little ice cream place called Honeymee. Wow, it was so GREAT. But anytime with Jessica is going to be fun as hell.

September- Infinite's comeback. They really snatched my fucking edges with that new mini album. I met Krystal's friend Domonique, who is now also my friend and they're both the best children I could ever ask for. We went to Koreatown for a festival and man, the footage I have of those two dancing makes me cry. They're so carefree.

Some coworkers and I took a trip to the Getty and holy shit, I saw a Van Gogh painting in real life, for the first time ever. I was complete.

Hyoin and I met up again in Koreatown and took a trip to the Art District and Little Tokyo. I tried takoyaki for the first time and the sushi I ordered was freaking huge omg. Sadly that was the last time I saw Hyoin. We weren't able to meet up again after that.

October- My fucking artwork of Hoya made it on to ASC and Infinite saw my drawing, along with the art of my friend Mello! She drew Sunggyu and wow she's so talented it makes me want to cry!

I made a trip back home to visit my parents and friends. It was definitely what helped me decide....

November-.....to move out of my brother's house and back in with my parents. It was financially a better choice and it was safer. During my last days in SoCal Jessica and Krystal and Domonique visited me to say goodbye. I couldn't ask for better friends. They've done so much for me....I don't deserve them! I miss them more everyday...

But as luck would have it. I had the chance to meet my dear friend Lucas and his girlfriend Kimiko and have lunch with them! They were visiting St. Louis all the way from Sydney, Australia for their friend's wedding, then enjoying the rest of their vacation in the states. That was worth the drive after a full day at work!

December- I've fallen down the stairs and busted my knee. Christmas was lit, but I'm still working on stuff. Typical me. I missed a Bastille concert for the second time. I'm already planning my next trip to SoCal to see my friends and my niece, omg I miss them so much!

Aaaaaaaand that's all that I can recall. For all the shit 2016 gave me, it also gave me some great friends and memories. I'd type more up, but I'm already on my third rum and coke. Happy New Year. May it be less shitty and more productive.

161224

In times of stress, I tend to work hard for a good 48 hours and then the weight of failure crushes me and my dreams. At least today I don't have to go to my paying job. 

Fucking Holidays.

160430

I have a lot of work cut out for me. The zombie apocalypse stops for no one! Figure I can enhance my portfolio while working on wedding gifts as well. And video editing is fucking hard, sheesh. 

I love working on logos and business cards. Wondering if I should go with the traditional rectangle shape or do something more unique. I know circle business cards are getting popular, and boy do I love working with circles!

160429

Let me tell you, I thought moving to California would be the start of my art hoe life.

I've been telling myself for a while that I would get this whole thing going. Get settled in, get set up, make art, keep making art, work hard, save up for a dslr, make a legit website, start blogging again, be consistent, apply to shows and fairs, don't be so depressed, get over yourself god damn it why can't you pick up a pencil you idiot--

Being an art hoe is expensive and exhausting and depression is permanent. I'll just stick with being the loser I always have been. Just...more consistent.